Our 4th Cycle Card out is: Definition!
This card belongs within the Law of Safety, a law which relates to our way of structuring and defining our world. Let me simply call it the ego or identity. When our understanding of reality fits with our experience of reality, we feel safe in our own self. New experiences and perspectives challenge this structure constantly, and we create a healthy self-esteem by slowly allowing our definitions to grow and change.
Let me give you an example. If you don’t believe in ghosts this isn’t part of your definition of reality. But if you then should experience the appearance of something that looks or feels like a ghost, you have a problem. You will feel unsafe. Because reality doesn’t match your own experience. Then you need to either redefine the world and include ghosts to regain a sense of safety, or explain your experience differently, for instance as having a mental breakdown, dream or a visual problem. There is no right or wrong from the outside, it is just you having to find a congruence between your idea of the world (or yourself) and the “reality”, meaning your experience.
Imagine you are told by your parents you are the best opera singer they ever heard. They like your singing and give you compliments which become part of your identity. You believe it to be true. Then as you grow older you sign up for a singing contest believing you’re a star. The reality seen from other people’s perspective is that you really sing quite ordinary and have no purpose in such a place. You will experience an identity crisis as your definition of reality and your new experience of reality don’t match. Reality is something we share with each other, and although we have individual perspectives, we feel unsafe without a certain congruence with the people around us.
Now, I guess the other way around may be more common. Did you buy into truths about yourself being too intense, too lazy, too stupid, too fat? Or did you learn early in life you’re a bad singer, a hopeless dreamer, a provocative type or a difficult child? True or not true isn’t really the question – if you define yourself this way, you may try to fulfill the idea and create it to be true – because it’s so important for us to create congruence between idea and reality to feel safe.
A lack of self-esteem, or even arrogance, means the update of our definitions are due. As we mention in Alpha Omega – if we need to hold on to a view despite evidence of the contrary, it’s because the foundation feels unsafe.
Time to redefine? Let go of some programming? Well, here is where you’ll find the issues ready to be transformed. Look at reality. You created it because of your beliefs. Not the other way around.
You’re welcome to check out our extended online course Alpha Omega if you need some inspiration on your path of change. Level 1 (of three) attacks this exact problem – redefining and strengthening your foundation.
See you next time,